The Organisation Game

Right. Let me make some good quick succinct points. Read them. Remember them. Let them kick your life back into shape like a pinch perfect panel beater. Like water for thirst. Like fags for addiction.

I just started my soon to be everlasting reign as President Artist of Abbey Road Studios in Athlone today… (or perhaps they said resident artist – I’ll leave that up to the voters). I have been given a lovely little studio for myself with a floor and some walls and some corners and a basin. For the first time in a while now I have a grand bit of space to make and store my work in.

I had a van-load of art paraphernalia and other detritus that was building into a fairly compact cube of stuff in the back cab behind me for a couple of years now. I was not organised. I was like you…a foolish scuttlebug…yis or your antenna tangled…scrabbling around aimlessly in a seemingly doorless fortress of trip-trapped emotions, moods and sad synchronicities.

Any time I needed to teach a new art-class I would go out and buy fresh packets of markers, tubs of paint, bundles of brushes, pairses of scissorses, plus whatever else the hell I needed.

But today I found another way.

I will tell you about it now.

And it will blow through your mind like a sea breeze scented with the sweetest puff of punch-perfumed potion.

As I unloaded all the bags and boxes from my van, and then unloaded the boxes and bags from themselves, I discovered something exquisite. I realised that the children I work with haven’t been stealing all my art supplies. If there is a thief for me to point a shaking fist at…it is…me…or ‘Slinky Paul’ as I call myself.

By being disorganised I have set myself up to squander time and coin buying more and more things to replace the things I thought were gone for good…or that I had actually forgotten about because I had bundled them into a miscellaneous pile in the boot of my van.

So, here is the secret. Get yourself a flat empty bit of space…a room…a box…a bit of pavement (or toe-path as my father would say). Lay out all your bits and pieces in an arranged order and marvel at the lack of shopping you will have to do from now on. I have just converted myself to a life of sheer and utter tidiness. I never knew I had so many things.

Come with me to a clearer, cleverer, calmer, loveleyish land.

Follow me to place far away from the maximum insecurity prisons of muddled muck that we have built about ourselves. Open your cell and yourself for a moment just. A light and tidy visitor is here and yearning for a conjugal to make you pregnant with fresh fields.

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