The Upside Down Pig

I was doing a handstand in the dormitory.

A pig passed past.

He, the pig, if he was a he,

Swiped my wallet

Nicely, gently,

Brushing his hoof lightly

Against the backside of my body.

And I roared inside myself

That he/she/it was welcome

To every worthless penny in that purse

For taking the time to rob me nicely

And in as dignified a way as was possible

At that particular time.